Chloe M. Gooden: 2016

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

How to Beyonce' Your Single Life like a Boss

Okay, so I am sure if you have been alive for the past 2 days your timeline has been FLOODED with Beyonce'. It's crazy. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.....it's insane. Though many people have a ton of opinions about what she did, I truly don't care (lol, just being honest). But what I will do is respect what she is doing and her amazing marketing team and her strong femininity. Though there may be much controversy about Beyonce, I do enjoy the confidence she exudes and gives other women. It's all about your perspective. As always, I look at everything with a twist. We can learn something from Beyonce. Yes, I can pull a lesson from anything! So here you go!

1. Get Your Girls in Formation
Your single. The first thing you think to do on weekends is mope, eat icecream, rent a redbox movie and sulk in your place all day because you don't have a man. No mam! Get your other single girlfriends together and go out! Enjoy your single season! Every season has blessings and there truly are many. You can go out without getting a babysitter. You can go out without wondering if your spouse is okay with it. You can sleep in the next morning as long as you like! This especially is important for V-Day. Enjoy showing love with your girlfriends and go out together. Nothing like celebrating with your main squeezes! Go out with your girls and slay! Never know, maybe you will meet the man of your dreams =) Even if you don't, still was an awesome night with your girls!

2. Don't Hold On to That Guy Just Because
Don't hold on to a relationship, or call a random guy, just to have someone give you attention and make you feel wanted. Push them allllllllllll the way to the Left! Especially not for V-day. It's is one day. It's only 24 hours! Don't put yourself in a situation just to not feel "left out" on one day. You will so regret it on the next day. That guy that never calls you ; DELTE. That guy that never texts you back; DELETE. That guy who swears you're the one for him but he won't commit; DELETE. That guy that hasn't taken any steps to have you, make sacrifices and still in a relationship with someone else....TRIPLE DELETE. Stop keeping yourself in situations you don't deserve.

3. Be Proud & Confident In Who You Are
Don't doubt your beauty nor worth based on if you have a man or not. Just because you don't have a man does NOT mean you aren't desirable. Sometimes it just isn't time yet. Sometimes God needs more time to work on us. Be proud of who you are , what you look like, and most of all, KNOW who God has made you. You are beautiful and it will be noticed by the right man. A man doesn't define your worth; God does. If you depend on a man to know you are beautiful and desirable, your worth for yourself will always be unstable. You have to know you are beautiful before anyone else tells you.

4. Take Care of You First
Many times we stay in relationships thinking about the other person. Even if he is treating you horribly, you still will stay in the relationships for them. You say things such as, "Oh, but he needs me. He is just having a hard time right now, " or "He doesn't mean it. He just doesn't have a good role model in his life and I'm the only person he can depend on," or "I know he doesn't do everything he should. But I know he loves me and will get better." Ladies, stop feeling sorry for these guys and look out for yourself. Are they thinking about you? Are they trying to help you in your life? Are they adding to your life or taking away? You have to look out for yourself. If you don't, who will?

5. Only Date Men that Support You and Don't Mind Letting You Have the Spotlight
If you notice, ever since Beyonce has been with Jay-Z her music is a bit more hood and she seems to be even more vocal about political issues. I am beyond aware that Jay-Z has a lot to do with that and is a major influence in these changes. Which is totally normal when you are one with someone. What I respect about this is Jay-Z and her work together , and many times, you see Jay-Z giving the music, props and credit to his wife and allowing her to get the spotlight for it. A real man will always take your gifts and talents and add MORE to you. He will think of ways to help you make it and also to help you grow in your talent. I have experienced this myself with my fiance. If a man really loves you, he will want to see you grow, shine and become the best you can be. He will take joy in that and not feel he is in competition with you. Take note. If a man isn't supporting you, move on to the next one.

*Disclaimer*

I am in NO WAY saying that Beyonce nor Jay-Z are the epitome of how we should be nor act. God and the Word are the epitome of examples. Nor do I care about the negativity, opinions or messages people feel Beyonce is portraying. Yes, I know all about the Illuminati mess that goes around, etc. But what I also know is that God has not called us to judge; He called us to love. Be able to see the good in any situation or person. Calm down. Have fun. Be able to give credit to others without feeling the need to put them down. So if you have any negative Beyonce' comments or outraged feelings, please go find a Beyonce Hate Page and express yourself. Chloe is all about love, positivity and growth. We all can learn something from each other. Peace =)

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Chloe M. Gooden

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Sunday, January 24, 2016

4 Reasons Why You End Up With The Wrong Guys

Okay, Ladies! So I've been there. Dating guys from back to back, hoping and PRAYING that each dating prospect was the one. You get so tired of dating each guy and getting your hopes completely let down. So you hope. You pray. You even find yourself doing everything possible to work with THAT guy, even when it's obvious he is NOT the one. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes we find ourselves so sick of dating. We become desperate for love and attention and we will do ANYTHING just to keep a man around. Well darling, let me be honest with you. That same mindset is usually what make us end up with the wrong guys. The more you try to "make" it work, even when your gut is telling you, "They are NOT the one!" (Made me think of Maury, "You are NOT the Father") lol Okay, back to the subject =) So here are 4 reasons why you have ended up with the wrong guy. There are plenty more reasons why you have probably ended up with the wrong guy, but we will leave those for later. Until then, my book Single to Married goes over many of the mistakes we make and gives you more dating tips so check it out! Alright, here we go:

1. You Try To Change Men
            - Now I know that we all have been here. We meet a guy who is really attractive and has about all of what we are looking for on our list. BUT they are missing the really important things such as; having a relationship with God or consistently keeping a job. It could be different things. So we see this guy doesn't have the important stuff but we still go ahead with it because we don't want to start over and meet another guy. We "take" him to church. (Notice the difference between "take" and "going" together.) We make excuses for his lack of willingness to go to church. We even try to place in our minds that we can "save" them. This list could go on and on. Whatever it may be they are lacking, we stay with them in hopes that they will change. Am I saying relationships don't take adjustments? No. But staying with a guy you clearly see is not the one for you and trying to MAKE him the one; that isn't right. Spare wasting your time and spare hurting his feelings. It isn't right.

2. You Focus on the Wrong Things
          - Okay, so he is fine, has a good job and gives you butterflies every time you see him. But he never calls, seems to hide you to his friends and has dated you for several months and has STILL not committed to you. Why are you with him again? Oh yeah. That's right. Because he is FINNNNEEEE! Fineness will not make you feel secure, loved nor get you commitment. Should you be attracted to your mate? Of course! But don't let that be the reason why you stay. Make sure he really is a good man and does the things that matter. Love. Respect. Commit. Pray.

3. You Ignore RED FLAGS.
   - So you've been dating a guy and he seems just awesome. The more you go out with him you notice certain things he does that raise a flag. He seems to disrespect women jokingly with his friends quite a bit. He acts different around you when he is at work. He seems really distant from his family. He snaps at children when he gets annoyed with them. He tells you he had a physical altercation with a past ex but it was because of her temper. You see things. He tells you things. But you still ignore it. Then one day you all get into an argument and he calls you out of your name and pushes you to the wall. Surprised?? You shouldn't be. He showed you before he had these traits. We as women do this a lot! Pay attention. Men always show who they really are ; you just have to pay attention.

4. You are Insecure
   - Please don't take offense. This is only to show you the importance of being confident in who you are. I always remind people on my Her Worth Is Far Above Rubies page that it is so important to know who you are, be confident in who you are and know your worth. If you are insecure in any way, there are men out there who can see it and will prey on it. Let me tell you how. Maybe you are lonely and really want a man around. Soon as a man comes in your presence you scream for attention. You constantly come his way to catch his eye or maybe you somehow get his number and always text him. Let me tell you something, men can sense when a woman is desperate and insecure. When they see that, the wrong man , will pursue and get what he wants from you. You then get upset when he gets what he wants and somehow is acting "different." He isn't acting different. You showed him you wanted the attention and he gave it to you. This also happens when you are insecure and need a man to feel approved or attractive. It is important to know you are beautiful before ANY man tells you. If not, you will fall to any and every word that man says and you won't even notice he isn't putting ANY action behind his words.

I know you want a man. I get it. But don't make these mistakes and end up getting your heart broken. Truly talk to God about how you feel and trust Him to provide it the best way and at the best time. You don't have to be desperate to get what you desire; you have a God. A God that loves you and wants to give you the desires of your heart. Be patient. I PROMISE you it will be worth the wait.