Chloe M. Gooden: New Year, New You, No Ring : The Do's & Don'ts of the Single Gal

Going into a new year is always so exciting! It's nothing like embarking on a new season of your life. It's a time to reflect on the year and all God has done for you. It's a chance to let go of your past and move forward to new beginnings. So many things to look forward to. So many possibilities. Maybe this year you will get that new job? Maybe this year you will get the home you've been wishing for? Maybe this year you'll lose that weight you've been claiming you'll lose every year before (lol). But let's be honest, we all are really wishing for that one thing.....a man! You probably were hoping for the same thing this year and it didn't happen, right? Trust me you aren't the only one with these thoughts. Every single gal has the dream of finding their mate, get married, and have a family. It's okay to feel this way. It's completely normal and you are not alone. The issue comes in when you handle these feelings incorrectly and end up in situations that could have been avoided. In this time of singleness you will go through many emotions. One minute you will be content in God's present placement of your life, then one minute you will see someone get engaged and your feelings of loneliness and envy erupt! We all have been there. But during this time there are some things you need to do and some things you definitely don't want to do.

The Do's of the Single Gal
- Seek out single women groups in your area who are in the same season of their lives. There is nothing like having the prayer and support of others in this time. It is truly uplifting.
- Seek God's will and plan for your life. This time is perfect for that! You have no distractions and you are able to solely focus on God and what He has called you to do. Take advantage of this alone time with God.
            - Seek a true, intimate, dependent relationship with God. My time being single has been an easier road solely because of the God I serve. It is not always easy, trust me. But it has definitely been easier to bear because I talk to God consistently just like a best friend. I know you hear it all the time, but I'm telling you, truly put time into seeking God and He will be found.
            - Find out who you really are. Find out the things you need to work on. Find out the things you love to do. When you know who you really are then you will know the type of mate you need to have. When you meet this guy you want to be ready. Work on yourself and learn to love YOU first.

The Don'ts of the Single Gal
- Keep exes around for those times of loneliness. BAD IDEA. Your ex is your ex for a reason and those are destructive relationships. Let them go. You don't want them to be available in times of weakness and possibly get yourself in a situation that prolongs what God has for you. I suggest my video on Before You Go Back to Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend. It is found in this blog as well.
              - Become envious of others. Sometimes you will find yourself envying others who are attaining what you desire yet they aren't living the way God has instructed. You won't understand how they are getting what they want in their own way, yet you are being obedient and still stuck with no man. Never envy others. You don't know their struggle nor their story. Remember, at one time they were right where you are.
               - Take matters into your own hands. Don't try to force a relationship to happen or write your own love story just to get what you want. I promise, it will not be what you truly want and desire. Wait on God. He truly does write the best love stories. You trying to step in and create your own will , will always end in destruction. Just wait.
                - Give up on God. God truly does hear you and love you. He knows the desires of your heart , but most of all He knows what's best for you and what's the best timing. If it's God's will for you to be married one day, He will present you with the opportunity at the right time. Until then trust His will, timing, and plan He has for your life. He will never stop loving you, pursuing you, and being there for you. Don't give up on God because He will never give up on you.

If you want more tips and guidance in your wait, get more from my book :

Single to Married : Becoming Who You Are In Christ and a Better Complement as a Potential Wife