Chloe M. Gooden: Single, Celibate, & Frustrated : 7 Ways to Deal with the NO SEX LIFE

So let's be honest. No matter how sanctified or "saved" you are, it is natural for you to desire to mate with another partner. No one wants to discuss it because we try to put on the purified white coat as if it is never on our minds. As if we don't see it everywhere on TV. As if we never crave for it. Well, I am a realist, and I completely understand there are times that you are frustrated and unsure how to deal with the frustrations of being celibate. It can be really hard sometimes. You find yourself getting upset at God and wondering if you will ever truly have a hold over this desire. Well the truth is, the desire will always be there. But just like any other craving, you have to learn how to control it as well as how to deal with it when your flesh tries to override what your spirit is telling you. Trust me I understand. I am celibate as well and there are many times I look up to God and think to myself, "God, I am going to attack the first thing I see if you don't help me." LOL! But seriously, you are not the only one that deals with these frustrations. Here are some tips on how to deal with the cravings when they come up.

1. DO NOT contact a past partner. I know in your mind you just want to get a release. Don't do it. You will regret it in so many ways the next day. You will be upset you dissapointed God. You will be upset you went back to someone who isn't worth your time. Delete anyone's number who will allow you to fall into sin so it won't even be there as a temptation when frustration arises.

2. DO NOT condone in "self-pleasure." I know this is a taboo subject. Noone wants to discuss it, but reality is, it's happening in the real world. I know sometimes people think it's fine but in reality it only makes it more frustrating on yourself and it is a sin. Why? Because you have to think of lustful thoughts to be able to do it and a ton of other reasons that I discuss in my book Not Tonight. Usually when we condone in self-pleasure, it only makes us crave it more and want to do the actual act we are trying to avoid. Don't play yourself. Regardless of what others may tell you, know that it is wrong.

3. DO NOT try to play the game of "foreplay" and convince yourself , "I'm not really having sex." Once again, this is a sin. Your body does not belong to you, it is Gods. Any type of sexual act outside of marriage is wrong.

4. DO NOT convince yourself that it is okay to do it this "one" time. After you go back to it once, you will want to do it again and again. Don't let the enemy trick you with his lies. Don't get trapped back into this cycle of sin.

5. DO distract yourself. Many times when I get to this place I find something to distract my mind. Many temptations all begin from a thought. If you can distract your mind, you will find yourself completely forgetting about your frustrations. Whether its going to workout, or playing Tetris (What I have been doing lately lol), make sure you have a hobby to get your mind focused on something else.

6. DO read your Word. Find something to read! ANYTHING! Just open up your Bible or Bible App and just read the first thing you see. The more you read it the more you will be reminded of God's Word, Promises, and Convictions. Sometimes we need a refresher to remind us of why we are on this walk of purity.

7. Do PRAY PRAY PRAY! Lately I have been reading Psalms for our 21 Day Fast. Something I love about Psalms is the way David cries out to God. He cries for help. He cries for God to be His refuge. He cries for God to save Him from this world of sin. You can do the same thing! God is amazing. He knows exactly what we are going through and He loves us and wants to answer our every need. Everytime I have prayed to God. EVERYTIME! He has come through. Just call on Him. He will do whatever it takes to help you live a righteous life.

Okay, so I hope these tips help you! I know there are many of us that deal with this from time to time so email me, or comment, your suggestions!

What are some things you do to deal with sexual frustrations?

If you need more help dealing with sexual temptation get my book :

Not Tonight : My Worth Is Far Above Rubies