New Year, New You, No Ring : The Do's & Don'ts of the Single Gal

Going into a new year is always so exciting! It's nothing like embarking on a new season of your life. It's a time to reflect on the year and all God has done for you. It's a chance to let go of your past and move forward to new beginnings. So many things to look forward to. So many possibilities. Maybe this year you will get that new job? Maybe this year you will get the home you've been wishing for? Maybe this year you'll lose that weight you've been claiming you'll lose every year before (lol). But let's be honest, we all are really wishing for that one thing.....a man! You probably were hoping for the same thing this year and it didn't happen, right? Trust me you aren't the only one with these thoughts. Every single gal has the dream of finding their mate, get married, and have a family. It's okay to feel this way. It's completely normal and you are not alone. The issue comes in when you handle these feelings incorrectly and end up in situations that could have been avoided. In this time of singleness you will go through many emotions. One minute you will be content in God's present placement of your life, then one minute you will see someone get engaged and your feelings of loneliness and envy erupt! We all have been there. But during this time there are some things you need to do and some things you definitely don't want to do.

The Do's of the Single Gal 
            - Seek out single women groups in your area who are in the same season of their lives. There is nothing like having the prayer and support of others in this time. It is truly uplifting.
            - Seek God's will and plan for your life. This time is perfect for that! You have no distractions and you are able to solely focus on God and what He has called you to do. Take advantage of this alone time with God.
            - Seek a true, intimate, dependent relationship with God. My time being single has been an easier road solely because of the God I serve. It is not always easy, trust me. But it has definitely been easier to bear because I talk to God consistently just like a best friend. I know you hear it all the time, but I'm telling you, truly put time into seeking God and He will be found.
            - Find out who you really are. Find out the things you need to work on. Find out the things you love to do. When you know who you really are then you will know the type of mate you need to have. When you meet this guy you want to be ready. Work on yourself and learn to love YOU first.

The Don'ts of the Single Gal
              - Keep exes around for those times of loneliness. BAD IDEA. Your ex is your ex for a reason and those are destructive relationships. Let them go. You don't want them to be available in times of weakness and possibly get yourself in a situation that prolongs what God has for you. I suggest my video on Before You Go Back to Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend. It is found in this blog as well.  
              - Become envious of others. Sometimes you will find yourself envying others who are attaining what you desire yet they aren't living the way God has instructed. You won't understand how they are getting what they want in their own way, yet you are being obedient and still stuck with no man. Never envy others. You don't know their struggle nor their story. Remember, at one time they were right where you are.
               - Take matters into your own hands. Don't try to force a relationship to happen or write your own love story just to get what you want. I promise, it will not be what you truly want and desire. Wait on God. He truly does write the best love stories. You trying to step in and create your own will , will always end in destruction. Just wait.
                - Give up on God. God truly does hear you and love you. He knows the desires of your heart , but most of all He knows what's best for you and what's the best timing. If it's God's will for you to be married one day, He will present you with the opportunity at the right time. Until then trust His will, timing, and plan He has for your life. He will never stop loving you, pursuing you, and being there for you. Don't give up on God because He will never give up on you.

If you want more tips and guidance in your wait, get more from my book :

Single to Married : Becoming Who You Are In Christ and a Better Complement as a Potential Wife

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

 Also, if you need more help with praying and talking to God in this time, get the accompanying Devotional :

Single to Married Devotional: 30 Days of Transformation, Restoration, & Healing

 

 CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

 A Great Way to Start the New Year!  

Both Books are Available at Amazon.com, Ibooks, Barnes&Noble.com & BAM.com

God Bless!

www.chloemgooden.com

chloemgooden@yahoo.com

    Photo via Flickr Creative Commons

      by KellyB -....with this ring

        https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

How to Go From Sex to No Sex in a Relationship/Dating

5 Steps to Move Forward After Falling Into Sin

We all have done it ; sin. Regardless of who you are, or where you are in your relationship with Christ, we all have fallen into the temptation to sin. Why? Because we are in the flesh and were born into sin. But because of the savior Jesus Christ, we have been saved through grace and have received forgiveness and the opportunity to repent from our sins. Thank God for His Son. But even though we have received this grace it does not give us the pass to continue in sin.

Romans 6: 1-2 

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"

Though we have been saved through grace it does not give us the excuse to continue in sin. But do we? Of course, we do. We slip up. We make mistakes. We get sidetracked from the Word, and our relationship with Christ, and get distracted by the world and it's ways. It's normal, and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. None of us our perfect. God knows that , which is why He sent us Jesus Christ. Though God has shown us grace, and is willing to wash us of our sins, we tend to still hold on to guilt and sometimes even think this is necessary to receive forgiveness. It is not. God is a God of conviction not condemnation. There is a difference. Instead of holding on to what you did from your past, take these steps to move on from your past mistakes and move forward in the life of freedom God has given you.

1. Realize That You Are Not The Only One. 

Romans 3:22-23 

 "...for there is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."

You are not the only one who has fallen into sin. Doesn't matter if it's a pastor, ministry leader, or a new believer, we all are in the flesh and have the same chances to fall. God knew this about His children and that's why He gave us Jesus Christ. No one is better than anyone. No one has walked on water BUT Jesus. Don't feel that you are less than because of your sin. We ALL need Christ. 

2. Accept God's Grace & Mercy

Psalm 103:12

"As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us."

God is waiting on you to ask for forgiveness and receive his grace and mercy. Don't hold on to your sin as if you cannot go to God. He is waiting to take you back in and make you clean. The enemy wants you to hold on to your sin and feel that God will never let you come back and accept you. That is a LIE. God loves you and wants you to return to Him so He can make you as white as snow. Accept His love. Accept His grace. Accept His mercy.

3. Learn From Your Past

Proverbs 19:20

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise."

Now that you know where your weaknesses are, learn from it. You know what gets you to the point of falling into temptation so do what you can to resist it and have a plan of action. Don't be involved with premeditated sin. Don't place yourself in situations knowing that you will most likely fall. God has given us wisdom and insight; use it.

4. God Forgives but Earth Will Continue

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" 

Understand that though God has forgiven you, consequences may still arise. If you murder someone, God forgives, but you will still go to jail right? Now God is gracious and He will still be with you through it all. Sometimes there are consequences, sometimes there aren't. But don't think that because there was a consequence that God has not forgiven you. He has. He forgave you a long time ago. But we are still on Earth.

5. Move Forward

 Isaiah 43:25

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
Don't hold on to what was done. It has happened and you can do nothing to change it. It is of your past. Learn from what occurred and forget about it. God has already forgotten your sin. Focus on your present and the life of freedom you will have in the future. God sees who you can be , not who you were.

www.chloemgooden.com

You can always contact me here:   chloemgooden@yahoo.com !

Photo from Flickr by April. 

Taken on July 9th, 2013 License

                                          Link : https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

                                                     Scriptures via New Living Translation