The Struggles of Sex and The Celibate , Dating Christian : 3 Things to Remember

Friday night, right? You are at home while everyone else is out dating or booed up with their significant other. You keep wondering when you will meet a great guy. A guy who is saved, and okay with you being celibate. A guy who wants the same things you do. It's frustrating.  Frustrating when you are trying to live right, yet it doesn't feel you are reaping the benefits. You look around and see others dating the way the "world" accepts, and it seems they are reaping the benefits. Getting married, having a family, and loving life! Being celibate is tough, and when you are in this world, it will seem that everything you are doing is worthless and the world's way is much better than God's way. But do not be deceived my child, God's way is always better.

Psalm 37 : 1-6 

"Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun."

1. The Ways of the World Will Seem Right

       - It will seem that you are missing out on the "fun" life. But you have no idea of what's going on behind closed doors. Every decision has a cost. At the moment, it will seem you are holding yourself back from what you deserve, but in the end you will reap your reward. You will reap what you truly deserve and it will come with no burdens or sorrows.

2. Pick up Your Cross and Follow God

        - I love singing the song "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus." Many people know it, and sing it proudly at church. But sometimes we don't realize what that truly means in our lives. We all will have our different crosses to bear. When it comes to being celibate, your cross will be forfeiting your fleshly desires to follow God and remain faithful to His Word. When you keep going from guy to guy that rejects you because you are celibate. When you keep ending up alone and without a date. Are you willing to pick up your cross and continue to follow God? Are you willing to truly live out the words, "The Cross before me, the world behind me...no turning back. No turning back." Live out what you sing out at church.

3. Freaky Thinks but NO SEX

        - In the time of bearing your cross, you will find yourself trying to prance around the idea of sex. You will try to do everything BUT sex and find every reason possible to justify what you are doing. Guess what muffin? That is wrong to do as well. I have been there. I have done this myself. I was a virgin and tried tip toeing around sex and did everything else. Do not be deceived. This is a sin as well, and it will ultimately lead you into having sex; which it did for me. This is a trick the enemy tries to use with us. He is a sneaky rascal. He will place in your mind that you are not doing anything wrong and that it's okay as long as you don't have actual intercourse. Ignore the enemy and listen to the Holy Spirit residing in you!

I know this life is hard. I know that is a hard cross to bear. But your faithfulness will truly be rewarded. Will it be rewarded with a man? I can't promise you that. But what I can promise, is that you will be honored by your God and receive the crown of glory. Don't look for earthly rewards, look to God to earn eternal rewards. THOSE are the only rewards that matter.

Romans 8 : 18

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

If you need more encouragement and tips on living the celibate life, get my book :

Not Tonight : My Worth Is Far Above Rubies 

PURCHASE HERE

 

Available on Amazon.com, Barnes& Noble.com, Ibooks, & BooksAMillion.com 

As always , if you have any questions, or need some encouragement, you can always email me at chloemgooden@yahoo.com

www.chloemgooden.com

God Bless! 

Photo Credit : 

By Jean Koulev taken on November 10, 2009

on Flickr 

Creative Commons License : https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

 

5 Steps to Online Dating : Should I or Shouldn't I ?

So you are single, right? Date after date. Mishap after mishap. You start to wonder if it will ever happen. So one day, while you're talking to a friend about your dating woes, they say, "Why don't you try online dating?" You respond immediately, "No! I'm not that desperate." I think we have all been here. From Match.com to EHarmony, you see online dating everywhere, and I think everyone at some point has thought about it. Well, being a Christian, sometimes people shun upon it for several reasons, but I am not here to go over that. Everyone has their opinions on what's right or wrong and I am not going to even get into that debate. But what I do want to do is give you some tips when it comes to Online Dating for those who choose to do so. I personally have done Online Dating and have met some great people and even have attained some great friends. Do I think it's desperate? No. Do I think it is for everyone? No. I think you truly have to know yourself and decide what is best for you. If you decide that it is, I hope these tips will help you.

1. Choose the Right Site
            - All sites are not for everyone. They have free sites, and they have sites that you have to pay for. You decide what is best for you. Regardless, make sure it is a site that is safe and has some form of a matching system. In other words, a site that just won't match you with anyone and anybody. You need a site that will actually look at your interests and attributes and match you with someone that will complement who you are.

2. Don't Share Too Much Information
             - Post pictures of you and only you. Don't add pictures with family members, friends, or locations that share too much information about you. Such as pictures of you at your job, or an obvious location that can only be found in certain areas. Keep it limited. Purely share information about your personality, interest, and what you are looking for. Now the site will automatically share your general location, but keep it there. Don't give out your number until you feel comfortable. That includes connecting with them on Social Media sites. Wait on that. You don't want to share your daily whereabouts to quick.

3. Don't Hide Your Beliefs.
            - Don't hide your faith in God in fear that it will deter possible dates. Also, don't hide if you are celibate. It is best to be honest about who you are upfront. You only want to attract those that are like minded and have the same beliefs as you do.

4. Keep The Same Rules of Regular Dating to Online Dating.
            - Don't forget your rules for dating just because you are online. Keep the same expectations. Still pray to God for discernment on a prospective date. Still let them pursue you. I have previous blog posts below with tips on dating. I also give some in my books , Not Tonight : My Worth Is Far Above Rubies & Single to Married : Becoming Who You Are In Christ and a Better Complement as a Potential Wife.

5. BE SAFE!!
               - Always meet your date during the day and in a public place.
               - Let someone know where you are going, what your date looks like , and any other possible information you feel is necessary if something occurs.
               - For the first call, use the service that blocks your personal information. 
               - Don't fall for dating scams. Here is a link on common dating scams :   http://www.onlinedatingsafetytips.com/Top10Scams.cfm

It's okay if you decide to do Online Dating, as long as you do it the right way!

God Bless!

As always , if you have any questions, or need some encouragement, you can always email me at chloemgooden@yahoo.com

www.chloemgooden.com

God Bless!

Photo Credit : Camdiluv

Taken on February 4th, 2010

via Flickr 

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/