So Your Single, Now What?

Being single, especially on Friday nights it seems, we  find ourselves pining for love and attention from that special someone. We see our friends going out on dates. The women walking up with their husbands hand in hand. The newlywed bride showing off her engaged ring and discuss wedding plans. The couples pictures on Facebook and Instagram. Everywhere we look. Everywhere we turn. We see love, and we ask ourselves "When will my turn come?" We feel as if we are being left out. As if we missed some special meeting where everyone found a mate but us. We go on each day wondering when the day will come that our prince will find us and give us our happily ever after. But what do we do until then? Are our lives nothing until our mate finds us? Do we mope around until he comes into our lives? No. But sometimes unconsciously our actions follow suit to this belief. Since we don't have the mate in our lives we reach out to other things , and unhealthy people and relationships to comfort that need for love. The most common things we do are......

We call or text that Ex that didn't give us what we needed then, and somehow we think they will be able to now.

We delve ourselves in food .

We go to every party, bar, or outing with the sole purpose of finding a man. Sadly, even sometimes church.

We go home and watch romantic comedies wishing it was us.

 We wake up each day acknowledging the fact that we are single, but in a negative light.

The list can go on and on.....

We all have done it! Heck, even I have. Whatever it may be we all have the habits we have picked up to supplement for what we feel we are missing. But have you ever thought about looking at your present situation as a blessing and not a curse? That maybe you aren't necessarily missing out on something, but actually in a place of enormous opportunity that you are taking for granted? Instead of waking up each day pining for a mate, look at all the things you can do that others cannot! Here are just a few.....

You can go to the movies and pick whatever movie you want and not share the popcorn!

You can wake up whenever you want to on the weekends, with no interruptions nor responsiblities!

You can go where you want, when you want without answering to anyone.

This is the perfect time to go for that dream job, adventure, or escape you've been wanting to do for years! You don't have any dependents, so you can make decisions based solely off  of what's best for you!

You can decide to have cereal for dinner and noone can complain about it!

The list can go on and on....

Every season God has given us a blessing. Take hold of it! There is blessings in being married and blessings in being single. As the old saying explains, you can decide to look at life with the glass half empty or the glass half full. You will not find happiness in a man. Joy comes from within, regardless of what situation or circumstances you are in. Find Joy in what God has given you now and live life! When the time is right that spouse will walk right into your life and will be a supplemental part of your life, not MAKE your life!

Here Are Some Things You Should Be Doing in Your Single Time....

1. Focus on improving yourself, instead of your writing up that list for your perfect man.
2. Learn how to find joy while being single.
3. Deepen your relationship with God. He will show you the true meaning of a loving , unconditional relationship.
4. Hang around those who are like minded, so you can stay on track with your purpose!
5. Stay active and involved! Since you are single you have a lot of free time to help others and organizations!

This is just a few to get you started!

Thank God for what He has given you now! 

 1 Corinthians 7: 32-35

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord"

Phillipians 4:12 

 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

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Her Worth Is Far Above Rubies

No Regrets, Just Lessons Learned

 

 Throughout life we all have made many decisions that we look back on and think "Wow, if I could only turn back time I would change this." We think back on that spouse we didn't fight for. That guy we should have never let back into our lives. That job offer we didn't take. That child we wish we would have parented differently. Or simply that doughnut we shouldn't have eaten. We all have been there and wondered if we could change one act, one word, one decision that we wouldn't be where we are today. But that's exactly it, you wouldn't be where you are today nor would you be who you are today. Every decision we make is exactly that, a decision. We all take different routes in life, that to some, may have been harder then others. But when you truly look back on the decision you made, would you change the person you've become and what you've learned? See every situation that we've been through has shaped us into the person we have become and most of all, God has most likely used it for His glory. See there is no reason for regret because you serve a God who said...

 "Everything works out for the good of those who love God" 

He never expected us to be perfect. Many times I would ask God, "Show me what to do." , but God isn't our puppeteer , He is our Father and Friend. He will always be with you, and you can seek Him for answers but know that He will always give you free will to make your own decisions. Most of all He is "Immanuel", which means God with us and not only that, He is for us. So whatever decision you make, whatever you do, He is always with you. Don't fester on your past, God said....

 "Forget the things of the past for I am doing a NEW thing, will you see it?"

Whatever decision you made. Whatever crime you committed, God has already forgiven you, and not only that , He has forgotten. The biggest thing to do is realize what you learned through the experience and what you can do better next time. But it is never a mistake, because your struggles develop your character and most of all your Faith.

^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

So your decision was not a mistake, but simply a lesson learned. Do not beat up yourself. Do not drown yourself with guilt. There is a better tomorrow, and most of all God can restore everything that was lost.

 

“And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm and the caterpillar and the palmer worm, My great army which I sent among you."

 

So my darlings, forgive yourself. Let the past go. There is a brighter future awaiting you and God needed you to go through your trials to prepare you for your blessing ahead. You have learned. You have struggled. Now its time to use our wisdom and be set free from regret.

 

No Regrets. No Mistakes. Just Lessons Learned.  

Romans 8;28, Isaiah 43: 18-20, James 1:2-4 ,Joel 2:25

When Things Seem Impossible

Life brings so many trials and struggles into our lives that sometimes they seem unbearable and out of our control to fix. They can bear such a weight on us that we want to give up, and pray God just gives us the strength to endure. The lost child to addiction. The spouse who seems to not love you anymore. The job you just lost, though you worked completely unto God. The sickness that won't seem to heal. We all have so many issues that arise and we sometimes wonder,  "Where are you God?". Well I am here to tell you, He is right there. We seem to get to this desperation of thinking He is not there because we don't see a way out. We are looking at our situation and we think, "There is no way this can get better." But I am here to tell you, yes there is! God is a faithful God and His word is true, regardless of what you may see happening in front of you. When we are in these struggles there are common ways many of us think, and common lies we believe. I am here to change your way of thinking on your situation.

        Luke 1: 37  

    "Nothing is Impossible with God"

1. Believe There Is Nothing Impossible With Him. We hear this scripture many times, so much that it goes in one ear and out the other. But truly read this one scripture and let it resonate in your spirit. NOTHING is impossible for God. Any situation you are in can and will be resolved by God. The issue comes in when we start doubting God because we look at the situation from our standpoint. We try to think of every possible way the issue can be fixed and we lose hope because we don't see how it can be done. That right there is the first mistake. God is far greater and bigger than you are. His thoughts and his ways are higher than ours. Realize that you are not God. See God has NO LIMITS and can do things that you could never do. Remember we serve the God who created the Earth. We serve a God that created YOU. Stop trying to figure out how God can work this situation out and just trust Him. He will give you peace beyond all understanding. But the KEY to getting that peace is realizing that you will not understand. He asks you to trust Him, without even understand the How. Just Trust.

Proverbs 3: 5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding^; in all your ways submit to him,  and he will make your paths straight.^"

2. Understand That Its A Process. When we go through various trials we are not always sure why this is happening to us and what God is trying to teach us. We focus on the issue at hand and become distraught to the point that we think God is not hearing our prayers nor seeing us. But just because God hasn't moved on your behalf yet, doesn't mean that He never will. See we get into these trials and we pray and we pray and we read and we read and when we don't see results happening on OUR time we assume that God doesn't care. But that is not true. God tells us to cast our cares on Him for He will sustain us. That He will rescue us from all our troubles. That He is our refuge. His word is not a lie; we just have to be patient. You have to understand that God's ways our beyond our understanding and it is a process. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be hard sometimes? Yes. Will it break you? NO. God will never give us anything we cannot bear. He said that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. But notice He never said the weapon wouldn't come. He never said that trials wouldn't come. He never said that we wouldn't suffer. BUT, He did say that they will not destroy us and we will have victory. Ask God to give you strength during your struggle. To help you endure during this time and trust Him regardless of the outcome. 

Isaiah 54:17 

 "No weapon formed against you shall prosper.." 

  

James 1: 2-4

^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

 "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies" 

3. Faint Not. Do not give up in your struggle. Do not faint. That is what the enemy wants you to do. He wants to you give up on God and give up on what you believe. See it gives the enemy pleasure when we break under pressure and turn away from our God. That's what he wants! Don't give him that satisfaction. Your God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! He will never change. He will save you. He will heal you if its His will. He will deliver you. Keep praying. Keep believing His Word. He will come through for you. He cannot deny His word. Regardless of what you see going on around you still believe what your WORD says. To help you not faint ensure to always...........

...Pray without Ceasing

... Speak God's Word Over Your Situation 

...Rebuke The Enemy , Remind Him That He Has No Power

...Praise God for Your Restoration

Galations 6:9

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Please know that God sees you and there is a purpose for where you are and what you are going through. We are children of God and everything He does is to help us draw closer to Him and become more like Christ. He has to purge us. He has to prune us to be able to mold us more like Christ. Though it may be painful sometimes , He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will NOT let it destroy you. He will never give you anything you can't bear. Trust Him. His promises will be fulfilled.

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Her Worth Is Far Above Rubies 

                                                                   Chloe M. Gooden