Saturday, April 11, 2015

8 Signs You Are a Side Chick or Your "Guy" is Dating Multiple Women

Okay. So I saw a post today where a man was juggling 17 women. He had 5 wives, 5 fiances and 7 girlfriends. WHAT?! I looked up the article myself and found another article where a guy has done the same thing, except he wasn't married to any of them. Now this is what gets me. I am not even mad at the man. That took some true talent. But what I am concerned about are the women involved.  How could you not notice a man that is dating that many women? There is no way they were unable to see some type of sign that this man had other women in his life. But to be honest with you, I think many of us have been in a situation where we thought we were the "only" girl in his life, soon to find out we were wrong! But did this just happen out of nowhere? How did we miss it? To be honest with you, the signs usually are everywhere but we decide to ignore them. The one night he somehow lost his phone and magically found it the next morning. The many times he checks his phone and makes sure you can't see the message. The moment you notice he doesn't talk to you as much throughout the day as he used to. We see these signs all the time, ignore them and then get upset when we find out we aren't the only one.

So here are some signs that you may not be the only one. Now here is the thing. I am going to give you this list, but honestly, many of you are going to read them and make an excuse for the guy. Why? Because you want to be with him so bad that you decide to ignore them. Ladies, you are worth so much more than that! Don't make excuses for these guys. You deserve a man that will make you the one and ONLY one. Don't settle for anything less.

1. You Never See Him on the Weekends
        -Okay Ladies. If you have never gone out with this guy on the weekend this is a major issue. This is really important because this is when we all wine down from our week at work. When people are free on the weekend the first thing you want to do is spend time with the one you care about. If you only see this guy during the week and NEVER on the weekend. That is an issue. I understand some men work on the weekends. I get that. But does he work Friday to Sunday night every single weekend? If he does, what days does he usually have off? On those days do you ever see him? Think about it.

2. You Never Spend Holidays with Each Other
         - THIS IS A BIG ONE. When you are serious about someone you will try your best to spend time with them on holidays. Why? Goes back to it's free time, a special day, and you want to spend it with that special person. Also, it's usually holidays that you meet friends or family members. If he is serious about you , this meet and greet should eventually happen. If you never see him on holidays, you may want to question who is he spending holidays with OR why you all never spend them with each other.

3. His Phone Is Always Going Off
         - Okay. So once again I understand that some people have busy jobs where their phone is there "business phone." But I want you to think about something. Does his phone go off so much that he has to turn it on silent because it gets so out of hand when you all have together? Also, pay attention to WHEN it's going off. If its business most likely its going to stop towards the evening/night. But if his phone is going off all night and the middle of the night till morning. Come on now. Who do you think that is?

4. You Haven't Met His Family nor Friends
          - When a guy is exclusively with you he is going to want to show you off to his friends and family. He is proud of what he has and wants to show off his love. If you all have been dating for a while, and you still haven't met a friend or family member, he is either juggling multiple women and doesn't want to do anything particularly special for one, or you are the side-chick and the main chick is meeting everyone.

5. No One Knows You are Exclusive but You Two
           - So you all are a Couple, but no one knows about it but you two? Now I am not saying you have to plaster it all on Facebook to be official, but what I am saying is that confession of your relationship is part of the stages of normal relationship development. That is part of the process. Why don't any of his friends know he is in a relationship? Why can't you all ever take pictures? Why doesn't his social media have any implication that he is with you nor in a relationship? I get some people are private but let's be realistic. If you two are the only one that know you are "together" then honey you all aren't "together." 

6. He Never Takes You Out
          - So every time you all hang out you are either at his place or yours. He never takes you on a date. He never takes the time out to make plans for you all. You only "chill." Whatever excuse he uses, no matter how tired he is, no matter if he is on a budget or not, a real man that is with you will sacrifice what's possible to take his woman out. Point Blank.

7. He Is Never Available When You Call or Text Him
         - Every time you call his phone he never picks up or it goes straight to voice-mail. Every time you text him he never texts back or claims he didn't get it. You only talk when he calls you and he is never available when you need him.

8. You Don't Know Where He Lives
       - Why hasn't he ever let you come to his place? Every time you all see each other he has to come to your place or either you all meet up somewhere exclusive. It's a reason he is keeping you from his place.

So as I said in the beginning, some of you will read this and make every excuse possible as to why he does these things. Ladies, go with your gut feeling. Go with your intuition! Please don't stay in a situation just because you don't want to be alone. When you really think about it, you are already alone. Ladies you deserve a committed relationship. You deserve a man who really loves you and wants to make you the one and only in his life. Wait on that. Let God bring you a man that you truly deserve. If you are in this situation please leave now. It will only get harder and harder for you to leave the longer you stay. I will do a Vlog Post soon on How to do this! Subscribe to Channel Here : https://www.youtube.com/user/ChloeMGooden

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Photo Credit : Via TSB Magazine posted December 4th, 2014.
Via Strange Reasons Why You Can't Sleep Blog by Kate Ferfuson